


jump and go

by Care



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: Community: vacationthon, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-09
Updated: 2013-06-09
Packaged: 2017-12-14 11:23:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/836347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Care/pseuds/Care
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their vacation plans never accounted for getting stuck overnight in the Madrid airport.</p>
            </blockquote>





	jump and go

**Author's Note:**

> Written for rise_your_dead for Vacationthon 2012. [Originally published on Livejournal in September 2012](http://vacationthon.livejournal.com/20278.html).
> 
> Basically, this fic could have taken place anytime pre-Marshall and Lily's baby? Sorry there's no specifics!

_"Kids, you know how we all vacation together every year? Well, that tradition started with Uncle Marshall and Aunt Lily back in college. And we went to some amazing places: Mexico, Quebec, Costa Rica, and this one time at Burning Man -- well, we don't have to talk about that. But let me tell you about the year we got stuck in an airport in Spain…"_

*

Barney's the one who comes up with the idea to go to Spain. Of course.

"Why don't we just go to Bermuda?" Marshall says, looking put out. "I thought that's what we decided." He looks towards Lily for back-up, but her eyes are dreamy and wide.

"Spain," she says faintly, staring off into the distance. "The art. The architecture. The _men_ \-- "

"Lily!" Marshall protests.

Barney sighs, wistful. "Think of all the sex I'll have. And I won't even have to come up with a reason to leave! I won't understand a word they're saying."

"I think douchebag is the same in every language," Robin says.

Ted surveys the group, lounging over the couch and draped across the floor. He pictures the five of them on a beach somewhere in the south of Spain, eating paella. Maybe they could all go to Madrid and tour through the Reina Sofia, Ted leading them, having brushed up on his contemporary art history beforehand and they'd be so impressed by his knowledge –

"Ted!"

He blinks, realizing everyone's staring at him. "What?"

"…You're in charge of plane tickets, no backsies!" Barney yells quickly, and the other three join him in a madcap dash for the door, leaving the apartment empty a second later.

Great.

*

Two months later and they're finally boarding the plane, the seats crowded together in a tight group. Barney grumbles about being in coach, but Ted reminds him that he was the one who didn't want to purchase a plane ticket on his own.

Robin reads the latest issue of Guns & Ammo and Ted tries not to wince.

When the dinner service rolls around, he asks for a red wine that will pair nicely with the chicken –

"SHUT UP, TED," Lily snaps at him from across the aisle.

He huffs a bit. He can't wait until they get to Malaga. He bets people there will appreciate wine.

*

There's a storm unfolding when they get into Barajas Airport in Madrid, a bit of a freak spring thing, with the wind whipping up sand from the ground, and rain coming down in sheets sideways. The plane barely makes it in at all and they all have to endure thirty minutes of Barney's panicky gasps and choked sobs about how they're going to die on foreign soil.

He's still crying into Ted's shoulder when they taxi to a stop at their gate.

Their connection to Malaga is delayed until further notice. Of course. But so is everything else. The five of them look around at the crowds of milling people and lighting flashes outside, illuminating their faces.

Robin plops down in an empty row of seats, next to one of the floor-to-ceiling windows. "This looks like a good of a place as any to spend the night."

"We're going to have to spend the night _here_?" Barney says, incredulous.

"Where did you think we were going to go?" Lily asks, sitting down next to Robin. "We can't leave the airport. We have to wait for more flight information."

Ted holds up a hand. "Don't worry, guys. Yo hablo español. I totally speak Spanish." And he was amazing at it in college. He had a great accent. Josie, who was his TA from Florida, told him so. She also then stalked him until she graduated, but who cares.

Marshall snorts. "You took two semesters in college."

"Cállate!" Ted snaps back.

"That means shut up," Robin says, helpfully.

"This is already the longest night of my life," Barney sighs.

*

At first they all try to sleep, curling up on the uncomfortable narrow seats. But Marshall keeps falling off, waking Ted up each time with a groan. After the sixth time, Barney sits up straight, his face a mask of utmost tragedy, jabbing his finger into Ted's side.

Ted tries to ignore this, screwing his eyes tighter shut.

"I can't do this," Barney announces. "Look at me, at my suit. This is cruel and unusual punishment, Ted Evelyn Mosby -- "

"That's not my middle name -- "

" -- my suit is _wrinkled_. How can I face anyone now?"

Robin throws her travel pillow at Barney's head, narrowly missing as he ducks out of the way. "Shut up, Barney, some of us are trying to sleep!"

Lily struggles into a sitting position. "Not anymore. What should we do now?"

"Well," Robin says, "that duty-free store is still open…"

*

Ten minutes later and the five of them are in possession of a bottle of whiskey each. The liquor goes down smooth and smoky, sliding down the back of Ted's throat. His stomach feels warm and his fingers are tingling. He wiggles them.

"You know, this has always been kind of a fantasy of mine," Lily starts.

Barney cranes his head towards her. "Oh?"

"Not a _dirty_ fantasy," she elbows him, "just something I thought would be cool. Getting stuck in an airport with my friends."

"Someone's never seen _Dirty Airports_ , numbers 1 through 7." Barney takes another swig from his bottle.

Marshall frowns. "Like, are they doing it in public in the airport or in a bathroom or something?"

He and Barney discuss this philosophically for a few minutes, while Ted gulps down more whiskey. Because, he's discovered, it's _delicious_.

"Ted, are you drunk already?" Lily asks.

Ted giggles at this. He's not sure why. It's just funny. The whiskey is nice. The whiskey is the best. He could write a song to this whiskey. Yes, that would be _phenomenal_.

*

It's pretty phenomenal. Even if the others do tackle him to get him to shut up.

No one appreciates good music.

*

There's an awful round of Blackjack that follows, but all five of them are teetering closer to intoxication. Ted loses ten euros to Barney, which if he's calculating correctly, is like six-hundred thousand dollars. Or something.

"This is the most fun I've ever had in an airport," Ted says.

Barney shakes his head. "Ted. Oh, Ted Ted Ted. Have I told you about the time -- "

Lily claps her hand over his mouth.

*

"I just don't know if I'm ever going to find her," he finds himself slurring to Lily an hour later. Or at least it was Lily fifteen minutes ago. Now it's Robin. Pretty Robin with her pretty hair and pretty eyes.

She's lying next to him on the questionably-clean airport floor, her cheek pressed to the ground, staring at him. "You will, Ted."

"No, but, like, I want to find her now. I want to _marry_ her, Robin," he insists.

"I know, Ted, I know."

"She's going to be so amazing. She's going to be so much fun. She's going to love _Star Wars_ and dogs and, and silk-screening!"

"Why silk-screening?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. Because. She will."

"Okay, Ted."

Her eyes really are beautiful, much like her mouth. He wants to put his mouth on her mouth. Yes. But he shouldn't. "I wish you were her," he says softly.

"Yeah," she says, just as softly. "Me too. Sometimes."

"Really?"

She closes her eyes. Opens them again. "I'm going to get you some water, Ted. Just, don't go anywhere."

He shifts to get comfortable on the floor. He can hear Barney snoring quietly behind him. His mouth feels dry.

*

"Ted. Hey Ted. Wake up."

He opens his eyes to Marshall, peering down at him, and all the force of his hangover punches him in the head.

"Oh god," Ted gasps. His hands scrabble for water, painkillers, anything. He finds a water bottle next to him and he uncaps it, spilling half of it down his front.

"Ted, guess what?" Marshall's grinning.

Ted gulps water down furiously.

"Lily and I totally did it in the bathroom. I didn't think we'd get to check airport off our list," Marshall whispers.

There's sunlight streaming through the glass walls. It hurts Ted's eyes. He leans back, resting his head against the seat he's propped up against.

"Ted, Ted! We get to leave in two hours, Ted!" Barney comes barreling towards them, excited like a puppy. "Marshall, we're going to leave in two hours! We're going to go to the beach!"

Ted manages to stagger up. It's awful. Everything is awful. Robin's sitting in a seat next to the window, reading, and he wanders over towards her, reminded of something. Last night? He can't seem to recall.

"Awake, I see," she says.

"Yeah, I, uh, were we talking last night?"

She glances up at him. "Yeah. You were talking to everyone."

He winces. "Yeah, but did we -- "

"Nope."

He nods, feeling oddly hollow. "Yeah. Okay."

*

When the plane starts taxi-ing down the runway, about to lift off, Robin puts a piece of gum in his hand.

"Thanks," he says, taking it.

"Sure," she replies, and her smile is crooked.

*

_"We ended up having a great time in Malaga. But I didn't find out what Robin said to me until years later, around the time we went camping upstate, and that's a whole different story…"_


End file.
